Want to Play a Game? 20 Ways to Save Money.

Whatever impetus you might have for saving money, I have found it to be the most rewarding if you turn it into a game, keep score and tally your annual savings, one win at a time. It makes it easy if you keep a running list of your wins and convert each monthly, weekly or daily saving into an annual number. 

I recently met with the candidates at Right Management Florida and we brainstormed and shared tricks and tips for saving money during our job search. Those notes are shared here. Feel free to add your own tips in the comments below. These are in no order in particular:

1.  Home Security: call your provider and let them know you are considering canceling your service and ask if there is anything they can do to make it more affordable to save your business. Several in class reported this had resulted in monthly savings that really added up. If you are in dire straights and need to cut the cost altogether, ask someone you know that has your service to request new signs for you and just post the signs in your yard as a deterrent.
2. Water Delivery: After 1 year most contracts convert the monthly rental to full ownership of your unit. You can save a bundle by cancelling the water delivery and buying the spring or purified gallon jugs to refill your last large water container. 
3. Electric Bills: Increase your interior temperature 2 degrees in the summer and reduce it 2 degrees in the winter. 
4. Water: If you don't have a water saving toilet, put a brick in the holding tank in the back of your toilet to reduce the water for every flush. 
5. Water: Turn the water off while you are brushing your teeth.
6. Water: Turn down the number of minutes on your irrigation settings. Look into something called Rachio to electronically control your irrigation based on weather reports and other factors. 
7. Water: Save money by washing all of your clothes in cold water. Saves money on heating the water and usually cuts down on the cycle time. 
8. Cell Phones: Call your cell phone provider and ask if there are any discounts available to keep your business. If you are outside of your contract, they usually make an effort to reduce monthly costs. When I called, they asked me how old I was and my rate went from $89/month to $64/month because I qualified for the senior discount. Also if you have Xfinity Internet/Cable, you can normally get a data limited plan for under $20/month and by using the Comcast hot spots you can easily stay within your data plan. 
9. Cable Bills: One approach to saving money that may feel daunting is to cut the cable and go with one of the streaming services such as Roku, Amazon Fire or direct streaming to a Smart TV. From a quick survey of my tech savvy friends Roku seems to be the preferred option and costs about $50 per month. However, you need to add the costs of any content providers to that amount, such as Netflix, Hulu or HBO. Make a list of your must have channels and then price each one to make sure you really do get a savings. Roku is a service and not a content provider.
10. Groceries & Household Items: Shop the circulars. If you are willing to drive to several stores and limit your purchases to only their loss leaders, you can save a bundle. But control impulse purchases or you lose the game!
11. Reward Cards: Get them and make sure you log your purchases against them. Some companies gift you with "free stuff" for birthdays ($15 from Benihanas) and company anniversaries (Coopers Hawk). 
12. Lunches: Pack your lunch and save about $125/month or $1,500/year. 
13. Gift Card: Find and use your gift cards. Put them in your wallet and make a point to go to those places you have cards for. 
14. The Early Bid Gets the Savings: Get to establishments during early bird and happy hour prices and enjoy your favorite meal and a drink for less than just a meal at most places. However reducing your dining out habits is a very effective way to score big in the savings game. 
15. Gas Cards: Shop at Publix when they offer the Gas Savings cards based on purchases of grocery products. Buy $50 in groceries (and who doesn't spend at least that amount) and get a $10 gas card when you present the coupon from the in-store circular or newspaper insert. Some nice cashiers will split your $100 order so you can qualify for $20 in savings. 
16.  Insurance: Shop your auto and homeowners insurance. Auto insurance companies are required to give you a discount over 3 years if you complete the Mature Driver Course or a Safe Driving course. The amount varies by provider but the average is 10% off. In addition, if you agree to install and record your driving habits, you may qualify for additional discounts. The only catch, as of this writing, they don't have a device that works on electric vehicles.  
17. Drinking and Dining: On the occasions that you do decide to dine out, have a glass of wine or cocktail at home before you go. Alcohol has a very large mark up and you will feel satiated when you arrive and not feel the need to order or drink more than you want to spend.
18. Coffee: Everyone knows the cost of Starbucks really add up so either make your own before you go or shop around for a more affordable option. Wawa stores offer coffee for a buck. 
19. AARP: If you have an AARP card, it will afford you discounts and savings on everything from your Denny's bill to eye glasses. Check out their site to get the latest list of savings. 
20. Dry Cleaning: Instead of paying those big dry cleaning bills, check out one the dry cleaning kits available at the grocery store and save some coin instead of being taken to the cleaners.

Hopefully these ideas will inspire you to start your own game of "how much can I save" and I wish you great luck on your journey. Please feel free to add your ideas below.  And for homeowners, here is a link for things you can do to save almost $4,000 per year. 

Another Year Wiser

Dear Friends & Family,

As another wonderful year draws to a close, we want to take the time to write to let you know how much you mean to us, and to let you know the highlights of 2011.

In January we celebrated Sheryl's birthday in Northern Ca with dear friends in San Jose and San Francisco. We got to spend time with Jari, Tim, Melanie, Tony, Ryan, Carole, Paula, Teri, Tamara, Margie. We thank you for the special memories we brought back in our hearts. Thanks also to Tony & Ryan for turning us on to some excellent new board games (we LOVE games), and thanks so much to Carole and Paula for your warm and generous hospitality! Now you all owe us a visit to sunny Florida.

Tony & Ryan whetted our appetite to play games more often, and after our visit to CA, we implemented "Game night" at the Cattell household on Sundays! I can't remembering laughing so much and for so long as we do at game nights. Have you ever watched your mom crawl on the floor flipping her tongue out trying to silently convey that she is a gecko? OK - we haven't either - but Toni's son Tom has seen this sight, and he didn't come back to our house for a very long time!?!? Hmmmm… we wonder why?

In April, Sheryl started a new job with a great company - Cross-Country Home Services (CCHS.com). When she left Bluegreen in 2008 she worried that she might never find another company or another team as great as that one - but she loves working at Cross Country and is part of a great group of people. It feels like she has finally found the company she has been looking for! She took time off after leaving Bank of America and before starting at CCHS, and spent well deserved time reconnecting with friends and loved ones in Dallas! She stayed with both Chelly and Kim, who now owe us a visit in 2012 so we can return the hospitality.

In May, Michelle Gosselin celebrated the 11th anniversary of her 29th birthday and the entire family turned out.


 
 

Also in May Jackie and Veronique came to S. Florida all the way from Brussels and they enjoyed it so much they plan an encore visit in 2012.

 

In June, we celebrated Pat’s (Toni's mom) 86th birthday with Toni's son Jerry and his wife Tiffany by sailing on Biscayne Bay on a 41’ Catamaran. It was a beautiful day; we swam in the bay, sighted dolphins playing and spent the day with loved ones. Mom loves boats, the bay and the ocean and we wanted to give her that experience again. We can't wait to do it again.



Later in June, we went to N. Carolina to visit and celebrate our dear friend Julia's birthday. We didn't want her to think she could escape our penchant for birthday celebrations just by living in another state during her birthday month!

In July, we attended SUUSI (Southeast Unitarian Universalist Summer Institute) in Radford, VA for the first time. We had a great time - the only downside was there is so much to choose from there is no way to do it all in a single lifetime. The Mountain Lake area is beautiful - with plenty of opportunities to hike, star gaze and experience nature. In addition to a smorgasbord of spiritual talks, activities and workshops, we experienced some awesome music from the most amazing singer-songwriters. The music alone is reason enough to attend, and we got to experience it up close and personal with suite-mates Amy and Brooke. Brooke taught us Thrifting 101 and we furnished our dorm room for less than $36. We are now hooked on SUUSI and Thrifting with Brooke! To top everything off we got to watch Tret Fure and Amy Carol Webb practice in our suite, it was like a private concert just for the 2 of us. On the way home we stopped in Charlotte to see Sheryl’s Dad and family, making it a perfect end to an amazing vacation. 

Sunday game nights were temporarily suspended at the beginning of NFL football season, which also coincided with a major change in Toni & Sheryl's lifestyle.  We started a pretty extreme macrobiotic diet, which consisted of no meat, no seafood, no dairy, no soda, no wine, no sugar, no processed foods, no coffee, (no "anything") and allowed for only limited types of whole grains (mainly brown rice) and limited selection of northern fruits and certain vegetables.  Also no microwave cooking, no Teflon, no aluminum pans, no electric stoves - Thanks to Toni's Mom for the new set of stainless steel pots and pans! We spent an entire Saturday learning how to cook macrobiotic food with Amy, Brooke and Zeli. We adhered pretty closely for more than three months (no we didn’t buy a new stove) and it made a significant difference in cholesterol, blood pressure and blood sugar levels.  We've struggled to stick with it during the holidays - but we are committed to getting back to it in a big way next month.

In November, Sheryl and Toni spent a long weekend in NYC and went to several Broadway plays - the favorites being "The Mountaintop" (about Martin Luther King's last night in the hotel where he was assassinated) and "The Book of Mormon"- both were excellent and we highly recommend! The 9/11 memorial was very moving and perfectly designed for a sense that all life is connected and all energy lives on. For the first time, Toni came away actually enjoying New York City, and an appreciation for the "I love New York" mindset!

In December, Toni's niece, Misty, married Dexter Bean in Orlando in a beautiful ceremony! We were so happy to be there and so happy that Misty and Dexter found each other. It was also great to see our family members and meet the Bean family! Even "Big Jerry” - Tom and Jerry's dad- made it down from Lima, Ohio home of the TV program “Glee.” Speaking of family, Toni's son, Tom, once again has used his vision and his talent to remodel the guest bathroom this year to make it more accessible and more stunning. Thanks Tom for all the care and effort and thought that you put into your work- it always turns out beautiful.

We saw Lady Gaga who is an amazing performer and the message to her "little monsters" was all positive and life affirming, except for maybe the f word- but she meant that in the nicest way! :-) K D Lang gave a memorable concert and we think her new CD "Sing it Loud" is her best since Ingénue!

We've just finished the Steve Jobs biography by Walter Isaacson - and we both feel that it is one the most fascinating and informative books that either of us have read in a decade. It’s an intimate portrait of an extremely visionary, sometimes enlightened, flawed human being who has "made a dent" in the world with his genius. We handle our iPads a bit more reverently and are contemplating a Mac conversion.

Finally, we feel fortunate that we are able to see our families in FL and NC. Not as frequently as we want, but at least we do get to see Sheryl's mom & Bruce, Tom & Amanda, and Toni's mom and her family who are just a few hours away. And in 2011 we were able to make it to Charlotte a couple of times to see Sheryl's NC family. We flew to Chicago in May, and had a wonderful time with Jerry and Tiffany. Who knew that Chicago was so beautiful when it wasn't below zero? We Are So Blessed.

Just in case you don't know, if you are getting this letter, we count YOU as a blessing in our lives. Come to see us when you can, and we and the puppies and kitties will roll out the red carpet to welcome you to our home. We hope next year we can add your name to our list of visitors.

Love, Toni & Sheryl, Maya & Gabriel, Cassidy & Sundance

Its that Time of the Year Again

Dear Friends & Family,

When we left off last year, we felt guilty for singlehandedly causing the world economic crisis, because we didn’t spend much in 2009. However we made up for it this year! More about that later……………..

Our first event of the New Year was Toni’s fun, loving (and fun-loving) and terrific nephew, “Mikey’s” 40th birthday celebration (organized by his wife Ilham) with lots of family and friends. It was a wonderful way to start the year to celebrate such a unique-in-all-the-world guy on this milestone birthday!

Later in January, we headed up to Tampa to see South Pacific with Sheryl’s mom, Pat, and stepfather Bruce. We got the tickets as a gift for them but it was just as much of a gift to us in our enjoyment of the musical and Pat and Bruce’s company.

In February, Sheryl left her job with “Time4 Learning” to go to Bank of America as Vice President of Digital Marketing. The company is huge, benefits are great and Sheryl gets to work from home! Kind of disconcerting for Toni, as she’s rushing to start her 45-mile commute each morning and Sheryl just stumbles out to her computer in her PJs.

This past spring the “Perogie Sisters” (sometimes referred to with other endearing terms) directed by JoAnn’s expertise, met at our house for the Third Annual Perogie Party! We made another world famous batch of Polish potato and cheese pasta pockets -more than pasta came together that day.

In June, most of the family gathered in Orlando for the weekend to celebrate Toni’s mom, Patty’s 85th birthday! We even had a special guest join the party -our friend Nupur- from India. We are so grateful for the opportunity for our families to get together to celebrate our mom!

So a little bit more about our efforts to jump start the economy. Once we realized last year’s dismal economic performance and unemployment could be our fault, we bought a new flat-screen TV so we could better view our Dolphin away games. Of course, it was too wide to fit in our old entertainment center, so we had to buy a new one. We were thrilled when we found out our new piece of furniture was manufactured locally in Medley, FL – job creation!

Next on our list – in July Toni was at the dealer to trade in her 2005 Prius (with 178,000 miles) on a new red one, when Sheryl drove up and announced she was trading HER Solara convertible on the red 2010 Prius! Toni still has her old Prius and lo and behold we are now a 2 Prius (or is it Prii?) family. Think of the fuel we save. We’ll have to drive more, just to increase our savings.

To keep the world economy going, Toni took Sheryl on a cruise for her 2010 birthday and Sheryl took Toni to Italy for her big SIX -0 birthday! We took a wonderful Olivia Cruise with two dear friends- and cruised from Istanbul (lovingly referred to as Islamabad by fellow cruisers) through the Greek Isles to Athens – then flew to Rome for a week in Italy. We both agreed the Greek island of Santorini was our favorite part of the Greek isles cruise (beautiful, romantic island formed on an active volcanic caldera) and the historic ruins in Ephesus and the island of Delos (where Artemis and Apollo were born).

After the cruise, we had an unforgettable week in Tuscany with son Jerry and his wife Tiffany. We will always remember the picnic along the road from Assisi and the delicious “panforte” that made us all grimace! It was a trip of a lifetime and an amazing treasured journey. It was especially good to spend time with the two of them, as Tiffany is now traveling to various countries in Africa for work, and Jerry left Orbitz (in Chicago) for a promising professional opportunity in Vancouver, Canada. So we didn’t get our usual doses of Jerry and Tiffany in 2010 until we met up in Tuscany!

We returned home from Europe to an amazing new bathroom – thanks to son Tom and his wife Mandy. Thank you Tom for the creativity in pulling it all together and perfectly incorporating all of our “wish list” items, and thanks for your meticulous attention to every detail – and for all of the extra cupboard and closet space too! Amanda was a huge help with interior design and her expert procurement skills! Who could have imagined we would love a room so much……..we just want to hang out in the bathroom all the time. Speaking of bathrooms, next time we see you, we’ll tell you about our “jaws of life” experience in the bathroom in Istanbul!

Sheryl’s dad Ron and step-mom Carol retired from the glass business in Delray Beach and moved to South Carolina and are now living near their two other daughters and their families, including some of their grandchildren and great grandchildren! That has to be fun for Ron and Carol and also special for the South Carolina Sandlin’s.

Sheryl’s brother Ron and his wife Selma, and daughter Isabella are moving from FL to Texas! It’s a new start for them, with a great job and an opportunity to go back to school. –This is great for them, but it does seem strange that Sheryl left Texas to come to Florida to be near her family and now all of her family has vacated South Florida!

We are both happy for our family members- that they are happy and enjoy being where they are – but we sure miss seeing them more often. Fortunately, we still have family in Winterhaven and New Port Richey – and can get there in a matter of hours.

One sad event was that Bea Cattell passed away at the end of November at the age of 78. She and her gracious and loving spirit will be missed.

 

The puppies (Maya and Gabriel) and kitties (Cassidy and Sundance) are good except for one traumatic event in November when the puppies underwent anesthesia and had their teeth cleaned. They were fine and it was not traumatic for the puppies – but Toni was traumatized with worry!

Well, between the car, the trip, the bathroom, the TV and entertainment center, we think we did our part for the world economy. Don’t expect us to shoulder this responsibility by ourselves next year – you need to go out and buy something- even if it is just an airplane ticket to come visit us in Florida!

Peace, love & happiness -now and in 2011 from Toni, Sheryl, Maya, Gabriel, Sundance and Cassidy

2009 In Review

As we sat down to write our annual holiday update, we realized this year we have no weddings, no new family members, no trips to Asia, Europe or Yellowstone, and no major home remodeling projects or purchases. It occurred to us, that we might have single handedly brought down the world economy. We apologize for that and will do our best to bring things back in 2010!

You might remember in November last year, Sheryl was laid off from the job she loved at Bluegreen Resorts, due to the unavailability of mortgages to finance timeshare sales and resulting staff cut of nearly 60%. She proceeded to become the busiest unemployed person ever, working as a marketing consultant for three or four companies at a time -almost 7 days a week. Thank goodness, in May she found a job with a company she likes, and a product she believes in – an online homeschooling curriculum – Time4Learning.com. Now she’s only working one job and managing a fun project as she is also developing and teaching email marketing courses for University of San Francisco through Bisk Education. She is much happier with a full-time job!

Toni feels very fortunate to still be with McClatchy Shared Services- this year was 20 years since she started at Miami Herald (now part of McClatchy). Despite tough times in the newspaper industry, Toni feels as strongly as ever about the importance of newspapers, and is glad to still be a part of this newspaper company! She just earned an Executive Certificate in Project Management at Florida Atlantic University and will sit for the Project Management Professional (PMP) exam within the next quarter! (CPAs are supposed to talk that way- marking time in fiscal quarters!

We did have a couple of small trips this year – we went to the Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival with treasured friends Becky and Melissa and CAMPED out – in a tent- in pouring down rain, thunder and lightning! Toni was a MWMF virgin, though Sheryl has been many times. So Toni believed Sheryl during this 12-hour torrential downpour that if she even thought about touching the inside of the tent that Niagara Falls would come gushing through the tiny breach. It was the last camping trip for Toni who was extremely uncomfortable curled up in a fetal position all night, trying not to touch the inside of the tent. She has since questioned the logic of Sheryl’s thunderstorm orders, and would also have positioned the tent much closer to the port-a-potties.

This year we celebrated Toni’s mom, Patty’s, 84th birthday with a family trip to Orlando with Patty, and Toni’s son Jerry & his wife Tiffany from Chicago. We got to all stay at a vacation rental condo Patty owns in Orlando – so it really felt like a luxury vacation for all of us! We celebrated at a highly acclaimed steakhouse in Old Towne Orlando with nephew Mike & his wife Illham who live in Orlando! We are so grateful that we can all get together to celebrate her each year!!

We had a Labor day trip to Ft Myers for a fun-filled birthday celebration with dear friends Laura, Ginger, Cindy and Blanche, an adventurous road trip to Key West with close friend Julia, and short trips to see Sheryl’s mother and stepdad Bruce in New Port Richey and to spend more time with Toni’s Mom and family members in Central Florida. The good thing about the FL trips is we usually get to bring the puppies! We are still head over heels in love with our 4 legged kids – puppies Maya, Gabriel, and kitties Cassidy and Sundance.

We’ve enjoyed our visitors this year – Toni’s son Tom & his wife Amanda & top dog Joe came to stay a couple of times, and we had visits from Jerry & Tiffany, and Sheryl’s Mom, Bruce and her nieces Lexi & Jessie. Tony & Ryan stopped off as they took a cruise out of Miami. Wing & Cassidy made a quick visit- and we had a great time! We LOVE visitors! Please put us on your calendar to come visit!

Well since we started this newsletter a few days ago, we decided not to live in “fear” in 2010! Yesterday Toni booked an Olivia cruise to the Greek Isles for Sheryl’s Christmas and birthday present- and we will do our best to jump start the world economy! Our best wishes and love to all of you. Know that we love you and that you always have a place to stay if you make it down to South Florida!!

Happy holidays and a wonderful New Year from Sheryl, Toni, Maya, Gabriel, Cassidy & Sundance

Friends Recommending Friends

I recently did something that I do all the time. A colleague of mine was looking to hire a freelancer that had skills another friend of mine possessed so I hooked them up and the colleague hired the friend and so the project began. Of course I highly recommended the friend to my colleague and my friend asked me if I could vouch for the company which I did. Both of these people know that I don't recommend anyone lightly so the marriage was made with my blessing.

Then life happened. The friend had childcare issues with a newborn baby that resulted in her only finishing 70% of the project within the project deadline. My colleague had to find someone at the last minute to complete the unfinished part of the project. And so ended a perfect match. My friend invoiced the colleague for the completed part of the job and my colleague turned around and hired a lawyer without paying a dime. Of course the colleague can't talk to me under advice of the lawyer and my friend is stressed emotionally and financially over a business arrangement I initiated.

I asked for advice from a few of my trusted friends and was amazed by the responses I received. I will share excerpts here:

"I would try to make good with the client somehow and earn their trust back. And a true friend would recognize you stuck your neck out for them. In the end, the job wasn't finished. Hopefully, on this copy job, they collected at least 25% up front. As I see it, the contractor owes you a make good in this case. If you need a copywriter, I'm happy to funnel a day's worth or work to my staffer on my tab for this should you need it. "

"...the important thing is you were trying to do a service to both for the introduction so you really can’t be responsible for the outcome. But you also need to make your own ethical decision on future recommendations of the two parties based on this! "

"I would warn people that they (the employer) have had a situation like this so they need to be cautious. I often find when companies don't pay people, it is a pattern and as a consultant, you wish you had known that ahead of time."

"If you feel so personally responsible, you should step in and offer to mediate a settlement acceptable to both parties.... A matter this small should never escalate to the point of litigation."

"As tempting as it may be to help your friends and salvage your reputation, the chances of you being able to improve the situation are slim unless they both ask you to do it. Butting in is likely to just remind both angry parties that you got them together, which is not good for you. It's kind of like cops with domestic disturbance calls - they hate taking those because the battling parties are likely to both turn on the cop. "

"...it seems straightforward, e.g. daycare. Since I have children, I know that "day care" issues can be resolved with planning. The person didn't have enough contingency plans. "

"Don't sweat this one. Give some of your time, in whatever capacity you can, to the original person. Ask the two of them to set a figure for financial reconcilliation. Talk to the person that hired the lawyer and say that never fixed anything and save the money. Then move forward. "

"I think we all rely on recommendations. Since you didn't make any referral fee or anything on the recommendation, it was made in good faith. As you put it, for years you have recommended people and all parties have been satisfied. "

"Did the company pay 100% of the bill to the agency? Did the company have any negative feedback about the copy/content provided? If they paid 100% and has zero complaints on the quality, then the agency is obligated to pay the contractor for the 70% delivered. "

"If this situation is resolved to your satisifaction and handled professionally by both parties, then you should not hesitate to recommend them both again. IF this situation is NOT resolved to your satisfaction and handlded professionaly by both parties, then you should not recommend either and you should disclose to both why you will not longer be referring business/work to them."

"If the situation has escalated to the point where lawyers are being called, then the options on the table have been diminished rather significantly. "

"I am assuming the owner of the company reviewed the person's work before the engagement of services and found the work to meet their needs and expectations. That said the company owner employed the person and therfore is obligated for services rendered. My opinion is that they should pay the 70 percent and be done the it. The agreement is based on time and that is what they are paying for. It's a little late to fault the writing quality since that should have been discovered along the way."

"Ask each party to consider they may be wrong. The answer is not for either party to stick to their guns, but simply to do this: GAIN RESOLUTION AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE AND MOVE ON. "

"As far as ANYONE's REPUTATION being tarnished--of the 3 parties involved, forget it. This is just life. Life happens. Move on and let all 3 parties move on...All three parties are good people. Good people have misunderstandings."
___________________________________________

Do you know what I have learned from this situation? That I have amazing friends that help me find my way when I can't see clearly through my emotions or perceptions. The last comment sums it up best, all three are good people and even good people have misunderstandings.

May we each find our way to an inner understanding, even if it cannot be found between those directly involved.

Namaste.

Don't be a gaycist

First they came for the communists,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a trade unionist.
Then they came for the Jews,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a Jew.

Then they came for me
and there was no one left to speak out for me.

(A poem attributed to Pastor Martin Niemöller, published in a 1955 book by Milton Mayer, They Thought They Were Free)

 

So now they are coming for the gays, stripping us of our rights, the moral majority deciding the fate of the minority. I wonder how our world would be different if slavery were left up to a state-by-state popular vote of a pre-Lincoln America? Well for one, I don't think we would have our current president in office. I know that the Bible was used to justify slavery just as it is being used to justify gaycism denying yet another minority their rights all in the name of religion.

But then again we as a society are known to pick and choose only the things that are convenient or agreeable to us to follow in the Bible and we willingly ignore others in the same section that says "You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination." Bans against wearing gold, eating shellfish, getting divorced, having tatoos, cutting hair in a round shape or playing football co-exist with this proclamation but somehow we choose to ignore those edicts. I especially love the letter to Dr. Laura that made its rounds back in 2000 specifically addressing this hypocrisy asking her opinion on how we should enforce the penalties for these transgressions clearly laid out in that same Bible (death by stoning, selling daughters into slavery, removal of limbs).

How will the act of separating and denying 1,138 legal rights to same spouse partners protect the institution of marriage? It sounds to me like a group of elitists trying to exclude those that are different than they are from their position of privilege. In this country we have the right to bear arms and kill our neighbors, friends and family (in 2009 nearly 50% of homicides were by family, friends or acquaintances) and this is protected by our constitution.

But the right to love and marry who we choose is a privilege to be awarded to only those that meet the religious requirement of being a man and woman. What happened to separation of church and state? Where are the courts who are supposed to protect the rights of the minority from the majority vote? Where are the African Americans who remember how it feels to be told who they can and cannot marry? Oh, I think they forgot since 70% of African Americans in California backed Proposition 8, according to exit polls.

Well the reversal in California will impact loving couples, families, friends and co-workers for years to come, not to mention the future marriages (and revenues they create) that will never happen. Here's a stimulus package worth considering; let's agree to a law that will generate a projected $684 million in wedding services in California alone or the $111 million in Massachusetts over the next 3 years. What I don't understand is why in the world would we spend so much time and energy taking away rights when we have so many larger issues to contend with like wars in 2 countries, uninsured Americans, joblessness, financial fraud in epidemic proportions?

And then I remember, I don't have to solve these problems or answer these questions, only outgrow them. Join me in seeing each of those featured in this video outgrow this temporary obstacle, this opportunity for expansion, that we seem to be encountering as we search for the modern day Abraham Lincoln to save our country from gaycism.

"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.